Go Team America

I had somehow neglected to let my new coworkers know how competitive I am, and that I am quite sporty! My office held its first OlyMPics. This was my chance to meet more of my coworkers. My deskmate Karen asked to be my three-legged race partner and I agreed, but that was the only event I had initially signed up for. We let work a few hours early, jumped in a taxi and headed for the Rugby field. Nothing like getting paid for horsing around and the boss knows about it.

The first event was the boot toss. Grab a boot and throw it as far as you can, in a straight line. I was just standing there, when they handed me the wellie and said Go. I gave it an excellent toss that even impressed most of the guys. The Kiwi was the only one to beat me out. Little did I know, this would be how the rest of the events would go…..

Next up was the three-legged race. This one I did not do so well at, but we did not come in last. Maybe the 10” height difference had something to do with it. I put a some thought into the next events and decided to go for a few more. I picked a girl taller than me to do the wheelbarrow race and knew who could hold my weight. We kicked butt and came in first, to her surprise. The egg and spoon provided to be quite a challenge since there were multiple heats. In the last heat, I was down, but with only 10m to go before the finish, the two in front of me dropped their eggs, and I just cruised right by for another first place. The relay race our team did not bad considering the winning team had two triathlons on it (the Kiwi being one of them). My final event was the sack race. This ended up being quite easy for me since in Ireland, I am considered very tall and had the longer legs for jumping.

Just as we thought things were winding down, NO! Up pulled a van, which had Sumo suits, a blow up jousting platform and a bungee run. Run as fast as you can and try to stick your Velcro ball on the track before the bungee cord pulls you back to the end. That had to be my favourite event of the day! I’m not going to lie to ya, my muscles were still hurting Monday from laughing so much at this little Italian girl who barely fit in the sumo suit and had even better sound effects then I did, and being pulled so hard against the bungee cords. The little Italian girl Tullia was also my competition against the bungee cords.

I got to wrestle my three legged race partner Karen in the Sumo Suits. She is a tricky little one. As we were challenging each other, we were running towards each other, at the last minute she moved out of the way, and as I laid there on my fat belly not able to get up on my own, she body slammed me. And then we both couldn't get up, and every one was laughing so hard at us they could not help us up. We were like little turtles flipped over on our backs.

The night ended at the pub right at the rugby park . The office also paid for the BBQ of burgers, bangers and all the pints we could drink. Our ringleader of the day called out the awards for each event inbetween the karaoke performances. Only the Kiwi had me beat for the most wins in the end. Apparently that is typical of him, in fairness, I gave him a run for his money. I did not part take in the singing, but it was great craic!

Potty Mouth

With a little help from my Xenophobe’s Guide to the Irish and fellow coworkers, I have figured out how to use certain words that I hear in conversation if I ever wanted to insult someone.

Level 1: Amadán – (pronounced aw-ma-don) Is used for an idiot, mostly for children, almost affectionately. My neighbor at work used to have a primary school teacher who called him that in an affectionate way when he was goofing off.

Level 2: Eejit – Implies foolishness but the upside of it is that you can’t necessarily help being a fool. As one becomes more annoying other adjectives can be added to it to become Buck Eejit or Fierce Eejit.

Level 3: Fecker – not as bad at the American counterpart, but this can be used in more-or-less polite conversation. Being an Ignorant Fecker suggests that you could not help it, it was the way you were raised since it is more describing your character than your actions.

Level 4: Gobshite – A single mischievous act may deem you with this title, but if you have acted as an Eejit for years, then you may be deemed an Out-and-out Gobshite. Can also mean a bigmouth. No way to say this nicely unless it is a close friend and they say it with a smile.

Level 5: Bollocks – This is the grand daddy of all the abuse works. You can become a Big Bollocks, an Ignorant Bollocks, until the pinnacle of all is a Complete Bollocks. It is a not very nice word that can be used for balls as well, and I am not talking basketballs.

For some Irish words we have:
"póg mo thóin" (pogue moh hone) – kiss my arse
"go hIfreann leat" (go hif-rinn lat) meaning to hell with you.
"titim gan éirí ort" (titch-im gan eery ort) meaning may you fall and never rise
Or my favourite "go n-ithe cata thú agus go n-ithe an diabhaill an cata" (go neeth-a cata hu ug-is go neetha an dow-ell an cata) meaning "may a cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat"

It is also in the delivery with which you say these words as well and to whom you are speaking. Between friends is one thing, but unless you are smiling and offering a pint, I would warn against using them on other people. To further drive home your insults you can follow up with the bird, or even worse, turn a peace symbol to face yourself. If your smiling that is a friendly FU you may use with your blokes, but yell and frown with it, and that is even worse than the middle finger. Also there are words that if you drop a letter and or add some, you get the same thing, ie. Arse and Shite. Bloody is also not used the way we normally would, like something is bleeding or has blood all over it, but instead, “Quite being such a bloody Eejit” would be a great example. You may also be interested to know that the Irish language does not actually contain any swear words. Just descriptive insults (hence the cat saying).

So in summary, people here have trucker mouths. Even little old ladies, it is just precious! I think the F bomb was even dropped a few times in my interview just like it was normal. So, sorry Mum if I come home talking like a trucker, I was only doing it to fit in!

Manneken Pis

One of my favorites from Belgium was the little peeing statue ‘Manneken Pis’. Yes a literal translation works, Statuary Peeing. Apparently people dress him up into cute little tiny outfits, and they even have a museaum to show them off. We did pass on seeing that. But, we were able to witness one of them. It rained everyday we were there, so this outfit was fitting.


I also found the best wine opener. It is a Manneken Pis with a cork screw opener as his…… well……. you will just have to come drink some wine with me here to see it if you cannot picture it. Sort of a let down of a tourist attraction since we almost walked right by it, and it is life size, which is to say, he is small. Just had to get in my two cents worth in response to Ben’s post. Isn’t he just cute! I think when I was a child my parents had a drink stirrer with this little guy on the top. It fascinated me then, and it still fascinates me now.

Seafood Galore

In the opposite direction on the Dart line is Howth. A little coastal town nestled into a small hill. The marina is homes to hundreds of boats of all shapes and sizes; grand sailboats, motorized fishing boats, small single person sailboats, boats that I am not sure how they are even still afloat and inflatable rafts. A larger cruise ship dock on the other side of the sea wall as we arrive. People streaming out to enjoy the sunshine, seafood and the sights.

Our group walks along the seawall out to the lighthouse as our luncheon destination of our picnic lunch. Sealions play in the wake of the boats, gliding though the water with ease. The south side of the seawall is essentially breezeless and we can enjoy our lunch without the taste of seasalt and sand integrating itself into our sandwiches.

After getting slagged so much over our PB&J sandwiches for being “SO American” we instead packed various meats and cheeses to go into our baguettes. It is quite warm sitting against the rocks, that closing your eyes and just enjoying the sounds of the sea are enough to lull one almost to sleep, but a nap is not on our agenda today.

We walk back into town to grab some fish and chip, because where better to get good fish, than at the coast. We go into the local fish market and we start planning our seafood feast for 12. Clams, sea snails (which sadly never made it into our bag), prawns and live crab are on the menu. We head to Bruno’s, mobiles in hand, calling all to join us. Bruno is the main chef and we all pitch in to help. I dropped in a few of those feisty live crabs into the boiling water, and we all taught each other about cooking various seafood recipes. Even the strange crab pâté that looked absolutely disgusting, was just divine. That recipe I cannot share, but if I am ever with you when you cook a live crab, I can show you how it is done because if I describe it, you will never try it and think I am crazy. Three hours later, at about 11:00 at night, we all sit down for a proper Portuguese dinner and proceed to eat until we cannot eat anymore. Some of us have to share plates and have to wash between courses, but the wait is well worth it.

After the food is gone, we enjoy the last of the wine and have some good craic. Dermot and I spoke some Irish, and I even sang a few Irish songs. For those that know me, I am not a public singer. The shower, in the car, in the privacy of my own home of course, but not in front of others, and apparently I had a captive audience. As the night starts winding down, we head for home, since we still have a long walk and our feet are sore from the days excursion.

First cheap thing we have found in Ireland so far has been the fresh seafood. Huge, excellent, fresh meal with hors’douvres, wine, main course and salad all for only 12 Euro a person once we all pitched into the pot. Not bad, considering that has been our best meal to date since arriving. I look forward to the next feast as an excuse to go back to Howth!

Affordable Weekend Getaway

My toes are buried deep in the warm sand. The sun is warming my back. The soft sounds of paddleball, acoustic guitar, and Portuguese being softly spoken can be heard over the crashing surf. Ben and Dermot laugh at how hard paddleball really is after Joao and Bruno making it look so easy. The bay is almost waveless but for the large breaker right at the coastline. Small children squeal as the cold water knocks them into the surf.


Shells, sticks, and rocks litter the coastline where people of all ages have come to enjoy the early warm spring weather. Killiney is a small coastal town south of Dublin where some of the most elite houses overlook the hazy bay. A large gate is all that can be seen of Bono’s home. A quick 30-minute Dart ride out of the city is well worth the time for such a quiet place to go for a relaxing picnic with good company.

Ban Cobblestones...Think of the Cripples!

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on how I suck for not posting, I think that’s fairly obvious. Fortunately Mariah has been picking up the slack. Thanks bebe!

Anyway, a few weeks back we took our first international “holiday” to Brussels. “Why Brussels?” you might ask. Well, as it turns out, my good friend Josh (who some of you likely know) just got married at the end of April (which I unfortunately couldn’t be there for) and ended up spending his honeymoon in a few countries within Europe. Towards the end of his trip he was going to be in Brussels and invited us to come join him there for a few days…So we did!

Brussels, I would say, is not your most exciting of cities and, from what I saw, Belgium as a whole is not a country you go to if you are looking for action. As a place to do a little site-seeing, eat, take pictures, eat, and chat, however, it was perfect. Did I mention…eat?

As noted in a Simpsons episode, Belgium is the land of chocolate, so there was plenty of incredibly good chocolate to be had…and we had our fair share…some of yours as well…you weren’t there, so don’t complain… Belgium, I would say, is also the land of WAFFLES! We had our fair share of those too! Waffles in Belgium are more of a desert item. The waffle itself is more like sweetened bread than the batter we would use in the States. They get fruit put over them often enough, like we would do, but more often they gets doused in chocolate and are served with ice cream and/or whip cream. Bananas, chocolate, and ice cream was my personal favorite. Many times you might also get a waffle on its own to eat on the go, and they are even good plain.

So…we ate…like you do…

Playing basketball a week or so before the Brussels trip I managed to sprain the heck out of my ankle (black and blue and all that), so my ankle was still quite tender when I got to Belgium with the prospect of hobbling around town all weekend ahead of me (more on the ankle spraining incident later). To my great delight, just about every horizontal exterior surface was coated in cobblestones. Now, let me just say…WHY! Cobblestones, as it turns out, constantly stress your ankles to try and make you topple over constantly. A long story short, walking wasn’t my favorite part of the trip, but I made it through. I like to think of it as a strengthening exercise…

We saw the Grand Place, which is a large central plaza within the city, along with quite a few cathedrals. We also took a great day trip to Brugge, which is a city in the northwest of Belgium. It’s amazing how great a train system that actually works can be. We were able to get across the country in about 45 minutes and spent a good part of the day walking around the picturesque streets of Brugge (many, many, many more cobblestones). The canals there are amazingly beautiful (the Venice of the north). And chocolate… I ended up preferring Brugge as a more relaxed and picturesquely European city than Brussels.

Belgium is interesting in that the north part of the country (Brugge) they speak primarily Flemish and in the southern part (Brussels) they speak French. I speak neither, so I got to wander around and feel like an idiot in multiple languages within the same country. Most of our time was in Brussels, so I was utilizing my extensive French vocabulary (consisting of words like “merci” and “bonjour”) extensively. Fortunately Josh knows a bit of French, so we made him talk most of the time. Way to take a hit for the team Joshie.

I’m sure there is more that I could say, but if I don’t get this posted it might not happen, which would be a shame because I have gotten this far…

New Goodies

What is there to do on a rainy Dublin weekend! Go shopping and blow lots of money. We had 3 tasks to complete before the weekend was over. Go to the movies, buy a TV and get bikes. After going into 4 different electronic stores and back and forth between a few of them, we did decide on a nice new flat screen 32” JVC. It is well worth the money since now we can use it for a monitor and be able to do live web chats with people and see them almost life size! We took a cab ride home, since there was no way we were going to advertise to the whole world where they could come for a nice new TV, or just take it right out of our hands half way home, exhausted. One task done, two more to go.

While on the train ride to get the TV the day before we saw an add for bikes at a local toystore (think Toys’R’Us). 99.99 Euro was so far the cheapest we had seen! Ben was to get black, and I was to get purple. I picked purple since I figured it would be least likely to be stolen. When we got there we asked if any came pre assembled, and sadly they did not. BUT, they did have some preowned. Only two left, both black, and they were only 60 Euro apiece. They guy right behind us in line was in search of one, but we had just beat him out. With our new bikes we headed home while it was still daylight. No lights and no helm, means no riding bikes at night for me.

Once we got back home, figured out our bikes were not going to fall apart, it was time to trek back across town for our movie. Tasks completed, and money well spent. Now onto getting those helmets….

Strange Anomaly #8

24-hour casinos sprinkled all over the city. There may not be the glitz and glamour of Vegas, but if you get a hankering for roulette at 4am, I know where to take you!

OKRA!

I found it! We were late for a movie and briskly walking past all sorts of interesting places that I had to igore when we went past a little Indian market. Low and behold, in one of the front baskets was some of the best Okra I have ever seen and it was fresh. We could not stop then, but once I find a big pot, we will be in business. I have to show off to Ben’s friends my infamous Bezio family gumbo that I have mastered over the years. Hopefully I can just find some filé powder, but that I hope to pick up in Paris!

Lost in Translation

For speaking the language, there are times that I am really lost in a conversation. By pronouncing TH as a singular T sound, the letter Z pronounced Zed, the letter H as Haych, talking fast, throwing in a random Irish Gaelic word, and with all the slurring at the pubs, there are times I have no idea what was just said. I do the old “smile and nod”.

Familiar words but different meanings:
Solicitor = Lawyer
Redundant = Unemployed
Public School = Private School
State School = Public School
Fag = Cigarette
Dear = Expensive
Dummy = Pacifier
Skip = Dumpster
Bonnet = Hood of car
Boot = Trunk of car
Fanny = A woman’s private parts (So do not say Fanny Pack here, or you may be slapped)
Pants = Underware ( I have insulated a 3 year old with this when I told him to be careful rolling down the Hills of Tara that was covered in sheep poo since he was getting his pants all dirty. He gave me the you must be crazy look and promptly told me that he is potty trained)

Random names for familiar things:
Aubergine = Eggplant
Courgette = Zucchini
Advert = Commercial
Nappies = Diapers
Queue = Line (like what you stand in)
Hoover = Vacuum cleaner
Lorry = Truck
Snog = Makeout type kiss
Fairy Cake = Cupcake
Dungarees = Overalls
Knickers = Panties
Brolly = Umbrella
Wellies = Rain boots
Mackintosh = Raincoat
Spelt = Spelled
Ladybird = Ladybug
Loo = Bathroom
The Maenopause = Menopause (as if there was some other kind)
Green Gilbert = Booger (When I asked a small child if he was digging for gold, he looked at me and said he was just getting rid of his green Gilberts – this came from an old British 80s Saturday Morning Show)

At least with the added U in places: Mold – Mould, color – colour, favorite – favourite or an added O in places: foetal - fetal, it just makes it hard to spell, but said the same. Aluminum and process are spelled the same, but sound different. Ask a Canadian how to say those words. Schedule is also spelled the same but pronounce “Shed-you-ull”. These are just the few that I have run into since I came here. I also am not including random slang for stuff (that can be for another post all together). I am sure there are more, but just thought I would share my English lessons.

Strange Anomaly #7

Bums that sit right below the ATMs and ask for money. What are you supposed to say, No?!

Drunk Dialing

Many of us have done this before, you just want to talk to that person, but it is 2am and you don’t care and call anyway and have the drunken conversation. Well, being over here I can drunk and dial all I want since with the 8-hour time difference, I will not be waking anyone up! If anything they will be just leaving work, or will be getting ready to go out for the night. I am already guilty of doing that several times!

Architalk

Not only am I having to learn all new scales of drawings, certain way of drawing things, the metric system, relearning old AutoCAD LT functions, different keyboard configurations with new symbols, new office standards, but new architectural lingo too! As Ben pointed out in an earlier post kerb is in fact a curb. I have to get better at running my spellcheck. Here are a few more I have run across so far:

Cill = Sill
Lintol = Lintel
Gantry = Road Sign
Wayleaves = Easements
Rooflights = Skylights
Storey = Story
Raw Water = Natural water to be converted to Potable water
Foul Water = Sewer Water
Petrol Lines = Gas Lines
Gas Lines = Natural Gas Lines
Lifts = Elevators
Rubber = Eraser
Canteen = Kitchen/Breakroom
Louvres = Louvers
Knock off = Turn off
Travelators = Moving horizontal walkways (like at the airport)
Sewerage = Sewer system
Assembly = Construction Documents
Carcass = Primary Building Elements
Carpark = Parking Lot
Hot Press = Water Heater (Boiler)
Grabrail = Handicap Grabbar
Ironmongery = Door hardware
Nett Floor Area = Net floor area
Cubicle = Toilet stall
Tonne = ton
Maisonette = 2 or more storey townhouse within a larger building with an exterior entry
Floor Beds = (not really sure yet, but something to do with the foundation)
Cistern = Toilet Tank (can also be something that collects rainwater, a term used in US and here)

As we come in contact with more architectural linguistic differences, we will make sure to add them to our list so if any of our talented architectural friends ever want to make the move over here, we can help fill in some of those gaps!

Strange Anomaly #6

You can get Cadbury cream eggs ALL YEAR ROUND!!! YAY!!!! I love those little buggers! I don’t have to wait until Easter time and stock up. I have been told that they do get harder to find around Halloween and Christmas, but the fact that I can go right now to buy a few is great. This could be dangerous…..

(Dad get ready for a care package)

Foods and Chocolate!

Several people have asked me about food items, so here goes!

There are always apples, just like in Oregon. Pears are very common too. Both of these are grown extensively in Ireland. They may have the capabilities to grow more except citrus and tropical fruit, but culturally they just don’t. They import their fruit from Africa so we get really small expensive pineapples, strawberries, and I did see raspberries at the farmers market but again super spendy. During the spring and summer there seams to be more fruits available. The strawberries were about 4 Euro for a container that I know I could get back home 2 for a dollar at Safeway. Raspberries were 5 Euro for a small little container like you see at the store. I have only found frozen strawberries as well, not the plethora of frozen fruit I could find. Oh bananas you can get easily and are good priced (I think Ben could get those all winter as well). You just have to shop around. I have not been able to find a place that has everything, but apparently when the Super Quinn goes into our neighborhood at the end of this year, they will. There are several different types of grocery stores to go to. Spar is like a glorified Plaid Pantry, but what they sell is actually good, even the hot dogs, just expensive. You could do all your basic grocery shopping there if you really needed to. Great if you just need to pick up a loaf of bread since they are found all over. Londis is similar to a Spar just a different chain. Centra is just a small step up from Spar, but it is open later and a little more expensive. SuperValu would be like Winco. Tesco is your standard Thriftway/Safeway. Super Quinn is like a Whole Foods.

Fruits I have seen:
Plums, pears, apples, pineapples, peaches, small oranges, dates, grapefruit, grapes, bananas and kiwis. Not always that good and small, but there. The farmers market has the best stuff so far.

There are TONS of vegetables though, mostly root type stuff at the small local stores, but all you could want there. It is easier to list the veggies that I have not been able to find: Okra, fresh artichokes, and pumpkin.

Other stuff is reasonably priced, if not cheaper. I get the BEST croissants for 37 cent a piece. Great dairy items for super cheap as well. So I guess it still costs about the same to grocery shop, but then almost everything is fresh and organic, which is the part I like! Almost all the meat is free range and the eggs as well, big huge brown eggs. Plus I can get the infamous Black and White Pudding. If you do not know what it is, just come over and try it out! And no, it is not a dessert item, it is meat. When India and Ireland used to belong to the United Kingdom, there were Indians that relocated to Ireland, so there is a lot of good and cheap Indian food. When you go to a Take Away place you can get the standard chips, fried any type of meat/fish and curried chicken.

Oh and the most super duper part is......they have the best sweets! Their chocolate is much better than Hershey chocolate, and you can get all sorts of crazy European stuff for cheap. In the last year they have also started importing Oreos! Tons of biscuits to try, since I love drinking tea. Tea is huge, but coffee is starting to try and rival it. I have seen Starbucks since I have come back, but I have only seen 4 in the whole city. Not very many considering I have seen multiple intersections in the States that have one on each corner. Folgers crystals instant coffee is mostly what you are going to have if you go to someone’s house. I still go for the tea, one lump or two?