Potty Mouth

With a little help from my Xenophobe’s Guide to the Irish and fellow coworkers, I have figured out how to use certain words that I hear in conversation if I ever wanted to insult someone.

Level 1: Amadán – (pronounced aw-ma-don) Is used for an idiot, mostly for children, almost affectionately. My neighbor at work used to have a primary school teacher who called him that in an affectionate way when he was goofing off.

Level 2: Eejit – Implies foolishness but the upside of it is that you can’t necessarily help being a fool. As one becomes more annoying other adjectives can be added to it to become Buck Eejit or Fierce Eejit.

Level 3: Fecker – not as bad at the American counterpart, but this can be used in more-or-less polite conversation. Being an Ignorant Fecker suggests that you could not help it, it was the way you were raised since it is more describing your character than your actions.

Level 4: Gobshite – A single mischievous act may deem you with this title, but if you have acted as an Eejit for years, then you may be deemed an Out-and-out Gobshite. Can also mean a bigmouth. No way to say this nicely unless it is a close friend and they say it with a smile.

Level 5: Bollocks – This is the grand daddy of all the abuse works. You can become a Big Bollocks, an Ignorant Bollocks, until the pinnacle of all is a Complete Bollocks. It is a not very nice word that can be used for balls as well, and I am not talking basketballs.

For some Irish words we have:
"póg mo thóin" (pogue moh hone) – kiss my arse
"go hIfreann leat" (go hif-rinn lat) meaning to hell with you.
"titim gan éirí ort" (titch-im gan eery ort) meaning may you fall and never rise
Or my favourite "go n-ithe cata thú agus go n-ithe an diabhaill an cata" (go neeth-a cata hu ug-is go neetha an dow-ell an cata) meaning "may a cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat"

It is also in the delivery with which you say these words as well and to whom you are speaking. Between friends is one thing, but unless you are smiling and offering a pint, I would warn against using them on other people. To further drive home your insults you can follow up with the bird, or even worse, turn a peace symbol to face yourself. If your smiling that is a friendly FU you may use with your blokes, but yell and frown with it, and that is even worse than the middle finger. Also there are words that if you drop a letter and or add some, you get the same thing, ie. Arse and Shite. Bloody is also not used the way we normally would, like something is bleeding or has blood all over it, but instead, “Quite being such a bloody Eejit” would be a great example. You may also be interested to know that the Irish language does not actually contain any swear words. Just descriptive insults (hence the cat saying).

So in summary, people here have trucker mouths. Even little old ladies, it is just precious! I think the F bomb was even dropped a few times in my interview just like it was normal. So, sorry Mum if I come home talking like a trucker, I was only doing it to fit in!